The Gemstones and Metals You Should Avoid for Your Engagement Ring

Creating the perfect engagement ring is an exciting journey, and our Bespoke and Custom packages allow you to create the ring you’ve always dreamed of. However, it’s important to know that as a company, there are some materials and gemstones that we don’t work with. We believe in crafting jewellery that lasts a lifetime, and some gemstones and metals just aren’t cut out for your ‘happily ever after’! Let’s take a look at what we don’t work with and why. And remember, we’re always here to help you find the perfect alternative so you still end up with the ring you've always dreamed of.

While there is a world of gemstones to choose from, with a kaleidoscope of colours and unique appearances, some just aren’t quite tough enough for everyday wear. And while these stones might be perfect for jewellery worn only on your most special occasions, engagement rings are designed to accompany you through all of life’s wonderful moments, both big and small, so choosing a gemstone that can withstand everyday wear is essential.

Opals are a beautiful gemstone - their iridescent glow and one-of-a-kind rainbow flecks mean they’re a highly sought after gemstone. While their appearance is nothing short of magical, their otherworldly iridescence is caused by their high water content which means they’re too soft for everyday wear. We use a measuring scale called 'the Mohs scale of mineral hardness' which measures a mineral's (or gemstone's) hardness based on its ability to resist scratching and damage, ranking from 1 (softest, like talc) to 10 (hardest, like diamond). Opals score at just 5.5 - 6.5 on this scale, so while they might look beautiful, they aren’t nearly as hard as they need to be to withstand the wear and tear they will go through when worn everyday. 

If you’re searching for all the mystical sparkle of an opal with a bit of added toughness, we would suggest you opt for an alternative gemstone with a milky or multi-coloured hue. For example, opalescent sapphires are a great alternative to an opal engagement ring as their semi-translucent appearance gives a similar visual effect to opals, yet they’re one of the strongest gemstones, measuring at 9 on the Mohs scale. If you’re searching for a suitable white coloured gemstone which has a similar rainbow sparkle to opals, moissanites are a fabulous alternative! Their clear shine is interspersed with a multicoloured glow, just like an opal. Some other good opinions are cat eye alexandrites which features magical colour changing abilities whilst also showcasing a phenomenon called chatoyancy (inclusions within the stone which reflect light in a concentrated band), pastel sapphires and cloudy tourmalines.

One of the most classic gemstones in the world, pearls make the perfect addition to (nearly) all jewellery pieces, with the exception of engagement and wedding rings! Their simple and refined appearance gives a classic and timeless look to any piece of jewellery, making them ideal for a necklace or a pair of earrings you might wear every now and then. Pearls, however, are not a suitable gemstone choice for engagement rings due to their extreme softness, landing at only 2.5 - 4.5 on the Mohs scale. Their softness means they easily chip, scratch and break all together, so it's best to steer clear of these gemstones when you’re on your engagement ring buying journey. Pearls are an organic gemstone, similar to coral and amber, and are made during a biological process as opposed to inorganic gemstones (sapphires, diamonds etc.) which are formed within the earth. 

If you love the timelessness of pearls and are searching for a more sturdy alternative then we’ve got you covered! Our first suggestion is a milky white diamond as they have the same opaque appearance as a pearl but beat all other gemstones in terms of hardness, scoring a perfect 10 on the Mohs scale. Another diamond option is opting for a salt and pepper diamond engagement ring, which are chemically the same as all other diamonds, just with a little added seasoning! Their salt and pepper effect, also known as inclusions, give a unique appearance and come in cloudy varieties, so they could be a perfect pearl alternative. Sapphires are also a great choice for engagement rings as they score 9 on the Mohs scale and they also form in pearlescent milky colours and the unique ‘star sapphire’ (a variety that holds an asterism, a star-like pattern at the stones surface) even comes in opaque white hues.

With their celestial glow and rainbow glimmer, moonstones are a popular choice for jewellery. However, in terms of moonstone engagement rings, we always advise to steer clear! Although they may be beautiful, moonstones are prone to scratching and wear due to their soft composition. Scoring 6 - 6.5 on the Mohs scale, they aren’t the softest but they certainly aren’t strong enough to withstand everyday wear over a prolonged period of time, pretty much ruling them out for engagement and wedding rings. 

If you love the midnight sparkle of a moonstone, we recommend taking a look at alexandrite engagement rings. Alexandrites possess a unique colour-changing ability, shifting from deep purples to vibrant teals depending on the lighting! This phenomenon is due to the presence of chromium atoms in their structure, which absorb light in a way which causes the gemstone to appear to change colour. With a Mohs hardness of 8.5, alexandrites are more durable than moonstone, making them ideal for everyday wear. Another great moonstone alternative is a sapphire, they’re available in an expansive rainbow of colours so you’re sure to find one that you love! For those who love the look of grey moonstone, a salt and pepper diamond is a great option. As the hardest naturally occurring material on Earth, salt and pepper diamonds offer exceptional durability, making them perfect for engagement rings.

Moss agate is loved for its natural or ‘moss-like’ inclusions which wiggle through the stone like branches and leaves. The stone, whilst lovely in appearance, is just slightly too soft to be worn in an engagement ring, scoring 6.5 - 7 on the Mohs scale. Choosing a gemstone for your engagement ring with a Mohs score lower than 7.5 runs a big risk of damage in the form of scratching and dulling over time, which will affect the beauty and longevity of your engagement ring.

If you’re searching for a suitable substitute for moss agate there are plenty of greenish gemstones with a natural feel which would be perfect! For example, salt and pepper diamonds come in many shades, including green, and score a perfect 10 on the Mohs scale. Their inclusions resemble those of moss agate, so if you’re searching for a hardy gemstone with unique inclusions, salt and pepper diamonds could be the perfect choice! Green diamonds are another choice and also come in a range of hues and intensities, so you can find the perfect botanical shade. Other gemstones which come in leafy green shades are tourmalines (7.5 Mohs score) and sapphires (9 Mohs scale), so you’re sure to find a stone that's the perfect balance of beauty and durability.

Whether you want a warm tone or a cool tone, there are some metals you should avoid when choosing or designing your engagement ring. At Jessica Flinn, we create rings that last a lifetime with the hope they are passed down as heirlooms. That’s why we choose to only work with platinum and 9 carat - 18 carat white, yellow and rose gold as these metals provide durability without scrimping on aesthetics.

As a fine jewellery company we don’t work with silver due to its softness compared to gold and platinum, which means it's prone to scratching, denting and bending over time. Engagement rings are a symbol of a lifelong commitment, so selecting a metal which won’t withstand the test of time removes an element of the sentimentality that many want in an engagement ring. Silver is also likely to tarnish over time and can become dull and dark with extensive wear, so it’s not a great choice for a piece of jewellery that you’ll be wearing everyday. Instead of silver, opt for platinum or 9, 14 or 18 carat white gold if you’re searching for a cool toned metal ring!

At Jessica Flinn, we don’t work with any 24 carat gold, whether yellow, rose or white. This is due to the fact that higher gold carats are softer and weaker, leading to more breakages and damage. Lower carat gold contains more alloys which gives them the strength it needs to be worn everyday, so the higher the carat weight the less alloyed metals it has. While higher carat weights are stronger and brighter in their gold colour, they aren’t suitable for engagement and wedding jewellery. If you want a bold yellow gold, we recommend opting for 18 carat gold, which still has a sunny glow but will be more durable in the long run. Take a look at the chart below to see what percentage of actual gold each carat has in it.

Now that we’ve covered most of the gemstones and metals we don’t work with, don’t worry if your dream option is on the list! We’ll do everything we can to help you create a ring that’s not only stunning but also durable enough to stand the test of time. If you've found your ideal gemstone and are unsure about its hardness, feel free to contact our team, we’re here to guide you and provide the best advice.